Defend Wisconsin News Round Up

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Friday, March 11, 2011

Friday morning Onion tribute news round up

Republicans invent time machine, take Wisconsin back to 1908

In a move of good will, Scott Walker releases 1,500 hostages, promises to think before burning the villages

Crowds gather for the premiere of "Total Recall" starring Scott Walker - video

In a showing of support for both parties, M&I Bank executives present flowers to Democrats and a truck full of small unmarked bills neatly packaged to Republicans.

Congressman asks Exxon Mobil for a two week extension while he looks for more taxpayer money to turn over.

Governor Walker signs the anti-Union bill in private this morning.  Scheduled to laugh evilly in public at 3 pm at the Capitol.

Wisconsin Eye overwhelmed and unprepared for demand in its boring product.  Considers dumping the not-for-profit status and selling shares.

Bernie Sanders proposes a surtax on millionaires and oil companies to reduce deficit by $50 billion.  Governor Walker proposes to refund the proceeds to billionaires.

Raw video: Wisconsin Capitol Police denies entry to Jesse Jackson and others as the Capitol is shut down this morning.  Hope was kept alive but handcuffed and dragged out of the building.  - video

The fax and phone calls have overwhelmed the system at the Capitol. Scott Walker requests letters to the Governor to be written on a small piece of paper, put in a bottle and tossed in the Sea of Japan.  Sealing of the bottle is optional.

In the meantime, send letters to Walker's office, so that he can continue to be flooded with letters Monday morning:

Mail your messages to:
Office of Governor Scott Walker
115 East Capitol
Madison, WI 53702

WEAC announces a list of upcoming events.  Teaching school is not included.

Representative Brett Hulsey puts out a press release protesting the vote.  Promises to print the press release once Assembly Majority Leader Fitzgerald restores printer privileges.

Rachel Maddow continues to make sense.  Governor Walker advises supporters to watch with the sound off.

Channel 3000 Neil Heinen can't handle the clean steady grasp of Imperial Walker.  Considers moving to Endor.

In the meantime in DC: Obama administration is allowing for possible creation of a TSA Screeners union.  Wall Street Journal promises to only use private jets, helicopters and catapults from now on.

1 comment:

  1. This is too funny! Humor expresses our thoughts and feelings so succinctly.