Defend Wisconsin News Round Up

We bring together news links on the subject of Wisconsin politics. For latest political news, follow Defend Wisconsin News Round Up on Twitter!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Wednesday Protest News Round Up

"Choking Dissent" Report: Prosser and Process | Center for Media and Democracy

Does this ASShat make my BALD SPOT look big?

AFSCME | Fighting Back and Making History

Daily Kos: New Berlin, WI imposes punitive rules on teachers

Do Republicans Want to ‘Dumb Down’ Public School Students? The Answer May Surprise You


"Record" (Wisconsin)

Profile Pictures

The heirs of the SC Johnson fortune, the richest family in Wisconsin with four multi-billionaires according to Forbes, paid not a penny of Wisconsin corporate income tax on profits from their global household products business and two smaller companies from 2000 through 2008...

‎97% of Wisconsin libraries fall below the FCC's broadband benchmark.
For more information on the broadband landscape in Wisconsin, you can read the DPI's recently updated "School and Library Broadband & Internet Access in Wisconsin" paper. It's not a light read but tells a very accurate and enlightening story.

New Berlin teacher handbook

Aug 30, 2011 1:03am New Berlin school board meeting

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Tuesday Protest News Round Up

With No Recall Effort Under Way, Are Walker Recall Signs Legal?

Who do you ♥

Federal Appeals Court Has Deemed Prohibiting Cameras or Filming Unconstitutional

Stephen King launches leftwing radio show
Click here to listen to Stephen King streaming:

In the meantime...UAWs $450 million GM suit not blocked by bankruptcy court

Rally on Madison

This is how Walker treats TEACHERS!

All schools feel impact of state budget cuts -- GazetteXtra

Picket Badgerville, sponsored by Johnsonville

Social Media Changing the Landscape in Wisconsin's Recall Elections

GOPer Mark Neumann Announces Senate Campaign In Wisconsin

Vicki McKenna Demands Apology from One Wisconsin Now

Big shakeup in Sun Prairie as administrator gets boot

NFL Players Association Rejoins AFL-CIO

We Are One | Labor Day Festival

5 Tips for Sparking a Grassroots Movement Online

This Labor Day we need protest marches rather than parades

How Can a Boycott Actually Work? The Failure of Consumer Activism : Mike the Mad Biologist

Signature Collector Sign up

BST Presents: The Lamentable Tragedie Of Scott Walker

Outloud with Mary Carol

Reflecting on the Democracy Convention

1998 Feingold-Neumann Debate

Plain Talk: Walker left Milwaukee County with ‘Titanic meets Hindenburg’ budget

The Wisconsin Club for Growth says Democrats in the Legislature in 2009 voted for various “pork projects" rated as "False" by PolitiFact

Hands on Wisconsin: Wisconsin Terrorism

Calling out Republicans on voter ID

This Labor Day, we need protests | Need to Know

Wisconsin Town Bars Republicans From Labor Day Parade : NPR

UNITING ALL WHO LABOR: Labor Day Walk, Rally, & Picnic

Governor Walker visits Diamond Precision - Daily Jefferson County Union - Fort Atkinson, WI

Call for Submissions: Anthology of voices from 2011 Wisconsin Uprising

What Does Collective Bargaining Mean to You?

Union Plus Solidarity Map - for union members and supporters of America's workers

Unity Rally (Walk of Faith) - peaceful counter protest of neo-Nazi group in West Allis, WI on Saturday, September 3rd.  Please come and show your solidarity / unity against white supremacists!

Union Thugs in America

School district levy higher than first thought | Herald Times Reporter |

Must Have Been Tired

Video: The ugly protest at Wisconsin’s Messmer Catholic School over Walker visit - Hot Air

Ryan staff calls cops to keep constituents away

Report detailing incident between two Wisconsin Supreme Court Justices released

Scott Walker Comes to Riverwest » Counterpunch: Tells the Facts, Names the Names

Soup Kitchen and Speak-Out!

Republican Politicians Banned From Labor Day Parade In Wisconsin

National Guard leaders address future at Milwaukee conference

Wisconsin union council bans Republicans from Labor Day parade | The Raw Story

Wisconsin schools alter sick-leave plans - JSOnline

Draft Sen. Larson for Governor of Wisconsin

Walker Protest - August 27, 2011

August 29, 2011, Solidarity Sing

Vicki McKenna: Class Dismissed!

Thanks Milwaukee Ironworkers!
"ATTN: Walker will be at the Milwaukee Art Museum tomorrow at around 9:00 am! I know it's short notice, but if you can make it - you know what to do!
Please share!" - Milwaukee Ironworkers

Monday, August 29, 2011

Sunday / Monday Protest News Round Up

Defend Wisconsin News Round Up: Editorial: Let Sean Duffy Walk In Labor Day Parade And Tell Him How You Feel!

Mark Pocan talks about ALEC

A decade after 9/11 attacks, Wisconsin’s homeland security spending falls sharply | WisconsinWatch.o

Waukesha Wonk

Economist Jonathan Gruber says state officials spun the results of his health care reform study

A Poll Tax by Another Name

We Will Not Pay For Your Crisis! - March, Rally, Sit-In, and Arrests, Aug 25th


Rally for teachers rights - New Berlin

Scott Walker Speaking Event 08-27-2011.wmv

Why the Wisconsin recall failed

Marathon County Central Labor Council Afl-Cio

Daily Kos: BREAKING: Leaked Rove email singles out Daily Kos

Janesville Laborfest

Dispatch From the Front Lines of the WI DMV | Defend Wisconsin

GOP politicians aren’t welcome in Labor Day parade in Wausau. | Defend Wisconsin


Labor Council president speaks out about Labor Day Parade

Union Thugs Ban Republican Rep. Sean Duffy From Their Labor Day Parade (Video) | The Gateway Pundit

Wisconsin Childrens Union Sticker (Oval) > WIChildrensUnion

GOP politicians banned from Labor Day parade |

Broom Street Theater - The Lamentable Tragedy of Scott Walker

Sen. Johnson to speak at local Tea Party rally | Sheboygan Press |

Calling out Republicans on voter ID

Ceremony for Jessica King's swearing in as State Senator

Schools prepare for a year of living with less -- GazetteXtra

Photos of Scott Walker Is a Douchebag

GOP pols told they're not welcome at Wausau Labor Day parade - JSOnline

Meanwhile in Colombia...Sex strike power to make the world a better place?

Jobs must be Job One - JSOnline

GOP politicians banned from Labor Day parade in Wausau

Would governor recall be a package deal? - JSOnline

Just so you know...Young Voter Turnout Fell 60% from 2008 to 2010; Dems Won't Win in 2012 If the Trend Continues | The.

Labor Day Celebration/Parade - Milwaukee

Milwaukee is not Madison: The Messmer Protests and the Andy Andre Episode

Editors in Action, Milwaukee

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus says public-employee unions spent $30 million rated as "False" by PolitiFact

Wisconsin court wrestlers need more than a referee - JSOnline

Police over-react at Scott Walker protest in Riverwest

PROTEST At Harley Museum August 27, 2011

Scott Walker has Failed Wisconsin…part 1

Downtown Protests Target Paul Ryan - Home Page Videos - Video Player :: Local Vision TV


Walker Protest - August 27, 2011

Excerpts from investigators' interview with Justice Prosser

Paging Paul Ryan and Scott Walker: Wisconsin protests are on the rise and protesters will find you |

Wisconsin Wire: 12 Adults and 1 Minor (Heroic Rotunda 13) Arrested in WI Capitol Attempt to Re-Occup

Walk of Faith (Unity Rally) - West Allis

Joseph McCarthy - Conservapedia

Senator Jennifer Shilling sworn into office | Defend Wisconsin

"Top official in Walker administration takes leave" by Latest News -- GazetteXtra

13 percent

West Allis braces for neo-Nazi rally - JSOnline

Lykeminded - Episode 12 - Home Page Videos - Video Player :: Local Vision TV

Daily Kos: Walker Recall Rally Gets Intense in Milwaukee. Ridiculous Arrests Ensue (UPDATE#2: Rousin

Walker Protest :: Messmer Prep :: peaceful man is violently arrested

Supreme Court members say Prosser a hot-head who has 'temper tantrums'

Plain Talk: Justice Prosser needs to get a clue

Three Things That Must Happen for Us to Rise Up and Defeat the Corporatocracy | Truthout

Continuing Wisconsin Protests Lead to Arrests

Wall Photos

Wisconsin governor visits area company

National Day of Action

What does this mean to you?: Prosser won't be charged in choking of fellow WI Supreme Court Justice

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Editorial: Let Sean Duffy Walk In Labor Day Parade And Tell Him How You Feel!

Yesterday the word came out of Wausau that Republican Congressman Sean Duffy was told that he was  not allowed in this year's Labor Day parade in Wausau. As appealing as it may be to exclude every anti-union and anti-labor politician from Labor Day parades, it will only lead us to more division.  This decision by parade organizers, though done with the best intentions, is ultimately short-sighted and should be reversed.  Parades are the times for us to come together to celebrate, not be an opportunity to further divide us.

Labor Day parades have become staples of many communities.  They are a celebration of labor but also of community spirit, perseverance and working together.  If we begin to exclude our politicians, Labor Day parade celebrations will become viewed not as community events that bring us together but as political statements that highlight our differences.  With all the protests that take place across Wisconsin whenever Scott Walker shows his face in public, we have nearly daily opportunities to make political statements.

Labor Day parade should be about all of us coming together, and isn't that what Union movement is all about?  Yes, we need to celebrate history and we need to work together to build future we can all be proud of, but if Republicans and Democrats have their own parades, how does this make us a stronger community?  Even in these polarized times, we have to remember the Golden Rule and treat others as we want to be treated.

If Sean Duffy is not allowed to participate, it will inevitably cause his supporters to re-examine whether they want to be involved in the parade.  There are already outpourings of support for Representative Duffy and invitations to walk on other Labor Day parades.  Does he deserve support for his track record in Congress?  Not at all.  But is he likely to benefit for being excluded from a parade?  You bet.  By excluding him, in the short run both the parade organizers and Sean Duffy may gain more supporters but in the long run we all lose.  The best Labor Day parade is the one that brings everyone together and we don't need to make Sean Duffy into some kind of a phony folk hero.

Yes, Republican Congressman Sean Duffy should be allowed to walk in the Labor Day parade, but that does not mean that he should be showered with hugs, kisses and flowers from the adoring crowd.  Not at all.  Putting yourself up for public comment, such as any parade is (and particularly Labor Day), should remind Sean Duffy how alone he is and how small his support is.  So let him in the parade and let him know how you feel.  This is what democracy looks like. 

Week in Protest News Round Up: August 21 - August 27

Protest News Round Ups are put together every day to keep track of Wisconsin Protest news.  Here are the Protest News Round Ups for the last week.  See what you missed, read and share liberally!

Saturday Protest News Round Up 8/27/2011

Friday Protest News Round Up 8/26/2011

Thursday Protest News Round Up 8/25/2011

Wednesday Protest News Round Up 8/24/2011

Tuesday Protest News Round Up 8/23/2011

Monday Protest News Round Up 8/22/2011

Sunday Protest News Round Up 8/21/2011

Saturday Protest News Round Up

Rep. Duffy not allowed in Labor Day parade in Wausau

Reports: Prosser Said He Touched Justice's Neck During Confrontation


Three Things That Must Happen for Us to Rise Up and Defeat the Corporatocracy | Truthout

"Demonstrators gather at Paul Ryan’s Janesville office " by Latest News -- GazetteXtra

Supreme Court Chief Justice Abrahamson: Statement re: Special prosecutor investigation

Daily Kos: Walker Recall Rally Gets Intense in Milwaukee. Ridiculous Arrests Ensue (UPDATE#2: Rousin

Remember, Remember the 5th of November

DownWithTyranny!: Ryan Was Never Courageous, But Is He A Common Crook, Profiting From His Legislativ

Protests, prosecutor’s decision mark Wisconsin politics

Ryan's Shrewd Budget Payday

Swearing in Jessica King 8/26/11

Justices divided over court altercation |

Downtown Protests Target Paul Ryan - Home Page Videos - Video Player :: Local Vision TV

Daily Kos: Jobs protests against Paul Ryan maintained all week, expand to all four of his district o

Nicole Desautels Schulte

Big Turnout to Protest Walker

State Sen. Jessica King Takes Oath of Office

Tony Shalhoub shoots tourism ad, seizes the day - JSOnline

State Senator Jessica King sworn in today

Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Wisconsin Union Protest

Authorities seize computer of Walker aide - JSOnline

Orton Park Festival Family Night Parade 8/25/2011

Solidarity Singalong - August 26, 2011

Rallies in Janesville Wednesday & Thursday of this week

Wisconsin Wire: 12 Adults and 1 Minor (Heroic Rotunda 13) Arrested in WI Capitol, Attempt to Re Occu

Workers Independent News

A Riverwest welcome for Scott Walker

Scooter's against Scotty - scooter/motorcycle rally for democracy

Daily Kos: Walker Recall Rally Gets Intense in Milwaukee. Ridiculous Arrests Ensue.

Public Employees Rally Over Paycheck Deductions

Gov. Walker Cost Wisconsin Over $700,000 In Legal Fees So Far

Protesters Show Up At Governor's Reading Event At Milwaukee School : Governor Walker's Photo

Prosser To Investigators: Contact With Bradley's Neck Was A 'Total Reflex'

Messmer school locks damaged hours before Walker's visit - JSOnline

We're Back at The Capitol!

Liberals’ Wisconsin Waterloo

We finally got Recall_Walker in the top 20 on game lounge! on Twitpic

What the polls say on baseball, Brett Favre and politics

Why is Paul Ryan's using the police to avoid constituents?

Wall Photos

Speaker Fitzgerald considering run for U.S. Senate

Excerpts from the full report on Prosser's unacceptable conduct

Lessons of the Arrests in Madison

The Progressive Magazine: Saying No By Getting Arrested

Democracy Dive - YouTube

13 Arrested in Madison

Forward with Kurt Baron

HAND COUNTING VOTES IN WISCONSIN -- Potentially a Felony?? So says the GAB!!!

Public employees begin seeing smaller paychecks

Prosser investigation documents online

13 Protesters Arrested in Wisconsin Capitol

Public Employees Rally Over Paycheck Deductions

Paul Ryan Dodges Angry Cheeseheads

Friday, August 26, 2011

Friday Protest News Round Up

White supremacists to rally in West Allis | Blogging Blue - Blogging Liberally in the Badger State

We Will Not Pay For Your Crisis! Solidarity March August 25, 2011

Where's Walker? Protest Scott Walker! at Riverside

13 Protesters Arrested in Wisconsin Capitol

Democracy Convention kicks off, boosted by Wisconsin Capitol protests - Isthmus | The Daily Page

We aren't done Scooter... [HQ]

Wisconsin judge 'chokehold' case produces no charges - Reid J. Epstein

What Wisconsin Means -- In These Times

Worker's Unite Rally, August 25, 2011

Mobile Uploads

Top Walker aide and former county official to take leave - JSOnline

Mobile Uploads

Swearing in of Senator Jessica King!

The Daily 8-25-11

Constitution Day Lecture with Senator Ron Johnson — University of Wisconsin Oshkosh

Kenosha and Racine but NOW Janesville and Lake Geneva Too!
“Where is Paul Ryan?” movement continues to grow every single day. On Tuesday it expanded to Racine, but yesterday it expanded to Janesville and Lake Geneva as well. Now, literally every single Paul Ryan constituent office in Wisconsin is under protest or occupation, or both! Here are some pics of the Janesville and Lake Geneva protests – as well as a video from the Mobile Constituent Office (the RV) in Lake Geneva

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Thursday Protest News Round Up

Democracy Convention under way in Madison - JSOnline

Protesters converge on Rep. Paul Ryan's Janesville office as part of larger action

Untitled.  Video of Protests in Janesville.

August 25: Wear Black in Protest of the Pay Cut to WI Public Workers!

Uncharted waters: Public school superintendents may be facing ‘perfect storm’

Daily Kos: Paul Ryan's office locks doors, bans cameras, restricts parking in response to ongoing si

‘Kenosha Seven’ Occupy Rep. Ryan’s Office to Talk About Jobs - Wisconsin State AFL-CIO Blog

Members chipped in $23.4 million to WEAC in 2008 union dues - The Lakeland Times - Minocqua, WI

Downtown Protests Target Paul Ryan - Home Page Videos - Video Player :: Local Vision TV

TA union at UW-Madison drops its official status in wake of new law - JSOnline

RYAN SEVEN: WE ARE NOT LEAVING!! ...Where is Paul Ryan??

Ellen Monahan Holly

Can Wisconsin Legally Require a Photo ID to Vote?

RoJo doesn't fear our response to privatizing Medicare, Social Security

Chabot town hall camera ban

Where is Paul Ryan? Sit In Protest For Jobs

Where is Paul Ryan? - Wisconsin State AFL-CIO Blog

Are Wisconsin's Progressives the First Spark in a Populist Movement? |

Monologues of Dissent: The Gall of the Wisconsin State Journal

Cognitive Dissidence: Scott Walker's Favorite Game: Musical Cronies

State must expand available venture capital

More Governmental Immunity is Not the Answer | Stand Up For Your Rights Wisconsin

Union Plus Helps Pay Union Families College Cost - Wisconsin State AFL-CIO Blog

The "Where Is Paul Ryan" Sit In Activisits Get Locked Out

Discord in Fitzwalkerstan? Nardelli departure raises questions

Nardelli abruptly quits state job - JSOnline

The Boy King – Paul Ryan | Blogging Blue - Blogging Liberally in the Badger State

Paul Ryan Dodges a Demotion

November and the Walker Recall

Congressional Town Halls - 08.24.11

Ryan’s pay-to-speak politics offensive

Janesville - Rock County: Janesville Rally - Where Are The Jobs?

Feingold's Next Campaign: Pushing DC Democrats to Oppose Cuts and Corporate Giveaways | The Nation

Wisconsin Public Television Senators Cullen and Schultz discussed moving forward after the recall elections.

Protesters ask Ryan for meeting about job creation

Taking Liberties :: Gods No Republican :: The Shepherd Express:

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Wednesday Protest News Round Up

Facebook to improve privacy settings

Cast your vote in the 2011 Shepherd Express Best of Milwaukee Reader's Choice poll


Wisconsin Jobs Now! | Day One Recap of Paul Ryan Protest

Biz Beat: Walker plan could hit private sector in pocketbook

The Governor of WI: Vote NO on AJR26 - Constitutional Amendments

Hippies United Globally P.A.C.

Chet worked for the Rock County Highway Department at the airport for over 30 years. In his spare time, he enjoyed writing controversial letters to the editor regarding politics.

Chet would strongly encourage everyone to support the efforts to recall Scott Walker.

Obituary: Chet Waldhart, Janesville -- GazetteXtra

RoJo Movin' Up on Congress Rich List?

Madison teacher heads to Washington to protest oil pipeline proposal

Wasting Time at the Governor’s Commission on Waste, Fraud and Abuse

Paul Ryan Sit In & Town Hall Protests Gain Momentum

Gov. Scott Walker Appoints Democrat Jeff Plale to Railroad Commission

GE Healthcare cutting nearly 100 jobs - JSOnline

Meanwhile...Teaparty Congressman Collects Disability From His Union Job

The Kochs are scared, and they've bought the web domains to prove it |

Dave Hansen

Facebook's New Privacy Settings: 7 Things You Need To Know

J. Eric Cobb Of S.C. Wisconsin Bld & Construction Trades Interviewed by Ironworker377 Mike Daly

Paul Ryan Day 4 Office Conflict

The Badger State's Bloody Stalemate |

Progressives United / Action / Petition the Super Committee

Wisconsin Voter ID Law to Face Legal Challenge - Campus Progress

Labor Day Celebration/Parade - Milwaukee

Jeff Plale to serve as railroad commissioner - JSOnline

Journey of a Straight Man at a Gay Pride Parade. No Shrimp!

Gov. Scott Walker Prepares For Recall Election

Residents' input sought on Janesville budget -- GazetteXtra

SCFL's annual LaborFest celebration

Andy Jorgensen's Birthday Barn Dance

Feingold To Press Dems To Abandon Any Unbalanced Super Committee Deal

Obama to join unions' Labor Day festivities in Detroit

Madison360: Here’s an idea: Ignore Walker, focus on independents

Premier of DRINKING LIBERALLY in Racine!

Police called to heated Greenfield School Board meeting - JSOnline

Janesville School District Considers Cutting Athletics

The Daily Press - Ashland, WI > Archives > News > Major fiscal cuts needed in entitlement programs

Help generate press coverage of a protest at Paul Ryan's office.

Germantown sticks with WEA Trust - GermantownNOW

Union Plus Solidarity Map

Club for Growth Action ad criticizes Thompson - JSOnline

ASO endorses "We Will Not Pay For Your Crisis! Workers Unite!!" | Autonomous Solidarity Organization

John Nichols: Addressing the democracy deficit in our state and nation

Emily's Post: Sovereignty, recalls and the long haul - Emily's Post, an Isthmus|The Daily Page blog

Wall Photos

Ryan Protest - August 23, 2011

Unemployed Constituents Stage Sit-In At Paul Ryan’s Office, Ryan’s Staff Calls The Cops

Teachers union has plenty of say

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Protest Page of August - Who Will It Be? Vote now!

In August, Defend Wisconsin News Round Up highlighted five Protest Pages of the Day.  

They are:

This page appears to have been either deleted or banned as it does not show up on Facebook currently.

Now it's time to determine who will be the Defend Wisconsin News Round Up Protest Page of August.  On the right side you will find a poll - vote - and tell your friends to do the same.  You may notice that one of these pages is not like the others because it highlights a Troll Party page.  The reason for that is to give supporters of Scott Walker an opportunity to test their strength in numbers.

Let's see which page has the most ardent, passionate supporters.  Vote between now and midnight on September 1st!  Good luck!  

Protest Page of the Day: Walkerville, State Capital Steps, Wisconsin

Walkerville, State Capital Steps, WisconsinEarlier this summer, a group formed looking to remind Governor Walker of the constant nature of Wisconsin Protests.  Tents were set up around the Capitol as well as a Facebook page.  The goal of this project is to keep "hope alive through the amazing vigil-ers and protesters!"  To be a "visible reminder to the statesmen & women to do the right thing, that indeed that they are being watched - from near and afar!"

Named "Walkerville", this tent city acknowledged the role of one person who "made it necessary" and played "historical significance in the labor movement".  The tent settlement is also a reaction and reminder by protesters to being pushed out of the capitol.  "If they push us out of the Capitol grounds, then we will find expression in the rest of the streets and shops of downtown.  If they push us out of the streets and shops of downtown, we will find expression in the rest of the city of Madison.  If they push us out of the city of Madison, it's the state of Wisconsin.  If they push us out of Wisconsin, it's the nation!"

These days, Walkerville continues to send twits, post Facebook updates and pictures on regular basis.  It highlights political and labor actions taking place not just in Wisconsin but nationwide, highlighting the connection between Capitol, Madison, Wisconsin and the nation.  For its dedication to keeping the spirit of Wisconsin Protests alive, no matter rain or shine,  Walkerville, State Capital Steps, Wisconsin is Defend Wisconsin News Round Up Protest Page Of The Day.  

Tuesday Protest News Round Up

Janesville Considers Closing Schools


Tea bag art

Senate GOP faces new reality -

Focus Newsletter - Still more surprising uses of the state budget - Wisconsin Taxpayers Alliance

A New Challenge

Where’s Congressman Ryan? And where are the Jobs? Protest in Janesville

Senator-Elect Jessica King (D-Oshkosh) will take the oath of office

Wisconsin's photo ID law for voters to face lawsuit - JSOnline

Paul Ryan Has Pushed For Tax Loopholes For His Big Donors

Start-up Fundraiser For SSWIDTMS TV & Web Show

Wisconsin Budget Project and Wealth for Common Good

Teachers Skydive To Protest Gov. Walker

Gov. Walker expecting, preparing for recall attempt - JSOnline

Senator Ron Johnson's staff to hold Madison hours

Koch on the defensive, buying anti-Koch URLs - One Wisconsin Now

New coinsurance payment will cost state workers, retirees

We're all in this together - Isthmus | The Daily Page

US Rep. Ryan Says He Won't Seek Presidency

Publicopoly: ALEC and the Bid to Make Private All That is Public | Center for Media and Democracy

Say yes to recalls

"Women's Protection Act" Protects Women From What? |


After mixed success in recalls, Democrats reflect on what's next

Rep. Joe Knilans reflects on his first 6 months - Home Page Videos - Video Player :: Local Vision TV

Only a troll would object to this page

While humbled by all of the encouragement - I will not be seeking my party's nomination.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Dear Tea Party

Dear Tea Party,

Bless your hearts. I love you. I really, really do. If your children are too embarrassed to have lunch with you, call me. I do charity luncheons all the time.

I wanted to learn more about you, so I did an internet search for images for “tea party.” The pix were gorgeous. They made my mouth water. The place settings were so creative. The colors were delightful—just stunning.

Oops. I had forgotten to add the preface “the.” “The Tea Party.” Gorgeous? Stunning? Creative? Mouth watering? Delightful? Not so much.

But, there was one image that posed a very profound question that I happen to know the answer to: “What would our Founding Fathers do?”

I actually have a lot in common with ultra-conservative far right-wing nuts! I happen to know for a fact what the Founding Mothers and Fathers would do; I know exactly what every word and phrase of the constitution means for today’s world and forever more; and God frequently speaks to me in no uncertain terms. I consider myself so lucky—just like all those ultra-conservatives and televangelists. I love living in a black and white world. No pun intended—and no shades of gray.

For example, God told me that Sarah Palin is an idiot and white trash, Michele Bachman is mentally ill, Rick Perry is the anti-Christ… And, I know for a fact that corporations are not people according to the constitution. God has had a lot to say to me about the Supreme Court justices but He was very angry and, well, that’s another post.

So, I found The Tea Party question, “What would our Founding Fathers do?” very intriguing, because I just happen to know exactly what they would do!

First, they would consult the Founding Mothers. Duh.

Then, they would buy you each your very own dictionary! People, words have meanings. That. Is. How. Communication. Works. You cannot just make shit up. Thomas Jefferson would blow a gasket! The man loved learning. He founded a university, for God’s sake. So, quit making fools of yourselves and look “socialist” up in the dictionary. I love you, but you’re getting on my nerves with this.

Next, our Founding Mothers and Fathers would give you each your own etiquette book! That is very sweet—but, why do you need a book? Did you have parents? Were you reared in a cave? Raised by wolves? A genetic experiment? Has no one ever said to you, “Do not be ugly!” Haven’t you read the Old Testament? That is the First Commandment: “Thou shall not act ugly, especially in public where everyone is watching and you will disgrace your entire family.”

Oh, our Founders have a lot to talk with The Tea Party about. Hmmm… How about some history lessons next? I think our Founders might say to you “We risked our fortunes and our lives for this great country. For the love of buttermilk, is it too much to ask that candidates for president learn a little of our history? Shame on you!” Yep, I think that is exactly what they would say.

Of course our Founders would do even more. They would invite you Tea Party people to tea and give you helpful and nurturing advice. Our Founders would give lessons on your deportment, your countenance, your elocution, and there is one additional and terribly important thing that the Founders would most certainly do.

They would tell you to ditch the accoutrements, for Pete’s sake, you look addlepated!

Hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.

Your friend,