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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Dear Paul

Dear Paul,

I love you. I really, really do—in that detached Zen-like way that keeps me from squishing earthworms.

It hurt to kiss you goodbye on Valentine’s Day—it really, really did.

Oh, don’t misunderstand me. Saying goodbye to you didn’t hurt! That felt like a day at a spa...or a day at the beach…or inheriting $10 million from someone I never met…or meeting President Obama in person and kissing…oh, never mind. You get the point.

It was kissing you that hurt. That’s a figure of speech—I didn’t really kiss you. It was the thought of kissing you that hurt. Hope I didn’t hurt your feelings!

Dear Paul. Darling Paul. Sweetheart. I will speak for myself and the entire Congressional District 1. Hope they don't mind!

We have had a very immature, youthful (callow—really, now that I think about it) childish romance with you that was fueled by an infatuation with wealth, privilege, and the mere proximity to power. Hmmmm...nope, cannot think of anything else.

We had dreams of going to the prom with you. Laughing at inside jokes at our social events with all the super cool Janesville Jet Set—hereafter known as the JJS. Dreams of defending the 1%--which would include “our” best friends. Going to “Cabo” and never adding the “San Lucas” just to show how cool we are. A lifetime membership at the “club.” Never needing to say which club. Skiing at that place in France and using the term “Euro trash” just to prove that we are so cool we are hot… 15% tax rates…

But, we out grew you. You became an embarrassment. It’s over. Bye, now. I speak for all of us in the CD 1. We are kissing you goodbye. I mean this in the nicest way possible.

I don’t want to hurt your feelings—but, when other people went into the Peace Corp, you came home to your mother!?! Tell me this isn’t true? Why didn’t you do something heroic, Paul? Not to mention the excessive mother-son thingy. Not attractive at all.

And, well, I have a secret yen for independent stand on your own two feet people to represent me. And, for a Republican you are a slacker! I have scoured your bio looking for some evidence that you have ever had a real job. I have heard that you waited tables once. Is it true? I see no evidence that you have ever done anything else except…oh, dear, I almost used a profanity that involves newborns and feeding and mothers!

Well! I see no evidence that you have done anything except work for your family and politicians!

Looking at you bio, I cannot even tell what was an internship, a part-time job, or what was a full-time job.

You have been on the government dole for…how many years? 16? Or is it 18? Dude, you’ve got 3 children! Get a real job! That’s what all the Republicans shout at me every time I go to a protest—"Get a real job!" And, I would like to help you do that. I really, really would!

Maybe you don’t need a real job because you have a trust fund. Just speculating. Don’t know. You are just awfully old to have never had a real job. 15% tax rate? Hmmm?

I really have nothing against wealthy politicians. I really, really don’t. As long as they have a sense of responsibility and a sense of our great country being a community. Well, really, I like for them to have some sense, too.

So, we began drifting apart when you didn’t do something heroic—like the Peace Corps. Came home to Mama. Didn’t get a Real Job in the Real World like you Republicans harp about the entire live-long day. At least, I’m not seeing it in your bio. Hmmm?

But, I also haven’t seen any sign of you ever getting out of your box, Paul—and, it is a very well-padded, privileged, comfy, well-connected box. Isn’t it?

Did you go back-packing through Europe? Ah-ha! Service trips to South America? Spend a year in Appalachia—my favorite!?! Live in another country? Dig wells in Africa?

I just hate Xenophobia, don't you?

Did you ever have an apartment in South Beloit or inner city Milwaukee? Ever been poor? Ever lived on your own income? Ever lived on $30.00/year? Ever gone without healthcare for…oh, say…10 years or so? Ever driven a beater? Or, not had a car? Ever been without dental care for…hmmm…10 years or so? Ever had a tooth pulled because you couldn’t afford to have it repaired? Do you know how much every little bit of health care costs? How much a poor family of 5 pays for groceries?

Would you give me your insurance—I need it?

So, I don’t know you intimately, but I doubt you have spent very much time out of your box. I find that...well, not very sexy.

And, this is hard to say and even harder to hear. But, you did not meet my needs intellectually. Ayn Rand? Really? Do you know what that says about you? Did you know that brands you as having the moral and intellectual development of…oh…say a teenager? It says that you suffer from grandiosity, a lack of empathy, a lack of depth and wisdom, a lack of a sense of community… Oh, dear! You don't get out of your box, do you? Or you would keep that a secret!

Hope I didn’t hurt your feelings! You’re young! You can grow. I recommend you read the Bible. The New Testament. The words of Jesus. Read them slowly. Buddhism is great, too. Really, the world’s religions say pretty much the same thing. And, you won’t find it in Ayn Rand’s books.

Do unto others...Paul... Do you want your mother and grandmother without healthcare?

Do you know what happens to people who don’t have health insurance? They don’t get health care. And, they die.

Social Security is an insurance program bought and paid for by the American people.

Notice served: You are not going to screw with Social Security or Medicare.

Hope I didn’t hurt your feelings! I hate breaking up—don’t you?

But, I am kissing you goodbye, sweetheart!

Your friend,


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