Dear Scaredy Cat Scotty

Dear Scaredy Cat Scotty:

I love you, I really, really do. But, you need to buck up and go straight. We don’t want to see you turn into a “Binky Boehner, do we? Hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.

May I give you some advice: Get a GPS. That is a Global Positional Something. Use it. And, take the most direct route wherever you go in life. That is just excellent advice in general. Stop sneaking in the back door! It looks like you have something to hide.

Now, about the “buck up” part: I would call you a “sissy” but I grew up in Appalachia where the girls could kick you’re a@# behind the outhouse in a New York minute. And, I don’t want to offend any women by calling you a sissy—so, “scaredy cat” will have to do it.

Can you explain to the citizens of Rock County why you require more security than there are protesters at your events? You are wasting my tax dollars by the millions because you are too cowardly to drive by 10 to 20 peaceful protesters!

I am speaking of your visit to the Edgerton site of Stoughton Trailers where you arrived in a black SUV with an unmarked police car, 2 police cars guarding the entrance to the parking lot, another police car in a parking lot ¼ to ½ mile away and a police detail assigned to the protesters. These protesters were about as dangerous as kittens—one was in a wheelchair.

I heard that the extra security cost $7 million dollars. I heard it so it must be true.

I cannot help comparing you to a certain president. We have a president who walks through crowds—even though he receives more death threats than any other public official in history. We have a president who attends events and walks with little protection through crowds where people are openly wearing guns and carrying guns slung over their shoulders. We have a president who walked unprotected with his wife in his inauguration parade.

Then we have you, Scaredy Cat Scotty. Afraid to drive by protesters. Sneaking in by the back door. You are not afraid to destroy Wisconsin, just afraid to look people in the eye after doing it.

Hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.

Your friend,
Vivian