Citing concerns over hurricane Solidarius, President Obama today placed Republicans in Washington DC at a secure location, locked them up and refused to let them out until they signed a pledge since it's apparently the only thing Republicans seem to read, understand or fear. The text of the pledge is to be determined later though possible pledges include: promise not to lower taxes on the rich, promise to not attack the president for doing what Republicans urged him to do and a promise to kick Grover Norquist's butt whenever they see him.
Reaction from Republican presidential candidates to this show of leadership ranged from Texas Governor Rick Perry promising to protect himself and the rest of Texas by converting Texas into an actual island, no matter how many illegal immigrants it will take to dig the moat along the Texas border with United States, to Congresswoman Bachmann promising to make gas free as soon as she is let out of the secure location where the president locked her up.
In Wisconsin, Governor Walker blamed public employees for the impending hurricane and passed the law privatizing weather events and also acts of God, as a way of stemming recall Walker efforts. While signing the bill into law, surrounded by the Fitzgerald brothers and their dad, Scott Walker said that "now that we won't let Democrats steal back the elections and it's illegal for lightning to strike me, I got my threats under control. Let's fly to California for that Koch party they promised me in February!"
However, as the Governor Walker was leaving the Capitol, a giant fist with a red rubber band "Solidarity" bracelet, reached down from heavens and into the Governor's SUV, took Scott Walker by his ear, and redirected him back to school instead of California, where the now ex-Governor is currently trying to get some education, while bothering no one except his ever-patient teachers. In his spare time, the ex-Governor, known to his classmates as that "kid in the back who hides his bald spot" was seen finding solace in watching "Billy Madison".
No one knows precisely what happened to Fitzgerald brothers as they scattered away when the giant fist with "Solidarity" bracelet first appeared, but some say that they were seen encouraging Sarah Palin to run for Governor of Wisconsin, claiming that "even a caveman can do it". American people on the other hand rejoiced, free to go back to their regular lives without worrying about politicians blowing up the country.
In the meantime, back in DC, it was revealed that the secure location holding the Republicans, turned out to be a mental hospital.
Happy Labor Day!
Reaction from Republican presidential candidates to this show of leadership ranged from Texas Governor Rick Perry promising to protect himself and the rest of Texas by converting Texas into an actual island, no matter how many illegal immigrants it will take to dig the moat along the Texas border with United States, to Congresswoman Bachmann promising to make gas free as soon as she is let out of the secure location where the president locked her up.
In Wisconsin, Governor Walker blamed public employees for the impending hurricane and passed the law privatizing weather events and also acts of God, as a way of stemming recall Walker efforts. While signing the bill into law, surrounded by the Fitzgerald brothers and their dad, Scott Walker said that "now that we won't let Democrats steal back the elections and it's illegal for lightning to strike me, I got my threats under control. Let's fly to California for that Koch party they promised me in February!"
However, as the Governor Walker was leaving the Capitol, a giant fist with a red rubber band "Solidarity" bracelet, reached down from heavens and into the Governor's SUV, took Scott Walker by his ear, and redirected him back to school instead of California, where the now ex-Governor is currently trying to get some education, while bothering no one except his ever-patient teachers. In his spare time, the ex-Governor, known to his classmates as that "kid in the back who hides his bald spot" was seen finding solace in watching "Billy Madison".
No one knows precisely what happened to Fitzgerald brothers as they scattered away when the giant fist with "Solidarity" bracelet first appeared, but some say that they were seen encouraging Sarah Palin to run for Governor of Wisconsin, claiming that "even a caveman can do it". American people on the other hand rejoiced, free to go back to their regular lives without worrying about politicians blowing up the country.
In the meantime, back in DC, it was revealed that the secure location holding the Republicans, turned out to be a mental hospital.
Happy Labor Day!
No comments:
Post a Comment